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Is it ever possible to have healthy platonic friendships, without feelings or sexual attractions getting in the way?
In the iconic scene from the 1989 film, When Harry Met Sally, Billy Cristol’s character Harry, tells Sally (Meg Ryan), ‘…men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” Of course, Harry was describing a heterosexual relationship here, but we can assume his assumptions about platonic friends would hold no matter the gender or sexualities involved.
If you remember your days in high school, the lines between crushes, friendships, and relationships were usually blurry. You might agree with Harry’s hypothesis that men and women can’t be friends (or women and women; men and men). It’s almost as if popular culture tries to convince us platonic friendship is impossible.
But platonic friendship is not only possible, but it’s also extremely healthy in every way you choose to measure it.
The benefits of close friendships, which have no physical or romantic element, go far beyond what you might initially imagine. As you’ll see, sincere, loving friendships are a resource for mental health, a community connection, a support network, and may even help you live longer.
The Essential Definition of a Platonic Friendship
What is a platonic friendship? It’s not sex; it’s not physical attraction; it’s not unrequited love. It’s a friendship based on emotional, spiritual, or activity-based connections. There are no ulterior motives and no long term plan to move past the ‘friend-zone.’
If you flipped through the pages of a dictionary, you’d find the definition of a platonic friendship as follows:
Platonic characterizes a close but non-sexual relationship between two people. These two people, based on their sexual preferences, could have a sexual relationship but currently only have a powerful, deep friendship.
The term “platonic” comes from the ancient philosophical ponderings of Plato, who described the evolution of love: from the attraction to beautiful bodies to the appeal to beauty itself.
Plato didn’t name the idea “platonic” after himself. This was a later descriptor added by a 15th-century Florentine scholar named Marsilio Ficino. He was the first to describe this phenomenon as “amor platonicus” or platonic love.
Although the idea of platonic love has been around for centuries, it has only been in recent decades that it has become culturally appropriate. Now people of different sexes can have friendly relations, even outside of marriage.
The outdated belief that men cannot have genuine platonic relationships because “the sex part gets in the way” has long since been disproven and tossed aside as sexist (and offensive). People of all genders and sexualities can, and do, have deep connections with friends, and these relationships don’t have any basis in sexual attraction.
How to Build and Maintain a Platonic Friendship
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
To build a platonic friendship, you’ve got to start with a solid basis and work your way up. Sometimes this is a natural process of getting to know someone, and sometimes it takes a bit of additional work
Don’t be afraid to put in the effort; the benefits of friends without benefits are proven. Here are a few suggestions for finding and growing a strong non-physical connection with someone.
Find a Connection
Just like in a romantic relationship, a platonic friendship starts with a connection. An emotional, spiritual, or activity-based connection is a great place to start. From this common ground of interest, you can build it up into more.
How to Find a Connection?
- Download a friendship app (Ex: Bumble BFF).
- Join a workshop, an art class, a boot camp, or a social sports league.
- Host a dinner and make it “plus-one” but with friends.
Put in the Time
Friendships need time to develop. Commit to hanging out with your new-found friend regularly – monthly at the very least. If the distance is an issue, pick up the phone or Skype. You can’t get to know someone without spending time with them.
How to Put in the Time?
- Call your friends on route to work, while walking the dog, etc.
- Make a standing date to watch your favorite television show or sports team together every week.
- Take a class in a mutually shared interest, like a cooking class or painting workshop.
Keep up the Effort
Meaningful relationships take work. You cannot just “Set it and forget it.” The same rules apply to platonic friendships as romantic ones. You’ve got to overcome challenges and stay in it through thick and thin.
How to Keep Up the Effort?
- Practice forgiveness during challenging times
- Offer support during times of need
- Ask for help when the tables turned.
The (Many) Benefits of Having Friends…Without Benefits
“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
Platonic friendships aren’t just a way to friends with benefits. Platonic friends are essential in-and-of themselves. Having a big circle of close platonic friends is proven to improve your physical health, mental health, and even longevity.
Don’t believe this? Here are a few benefits to having platonic friendships:
1. There are Big Health Benefits
Lonely people have more health problems than those with active social circles. Time and time again, the research tells us this. It’s why rates of rising loneliness are such a concern worldwide.
One study determined that long term social isolation was just as detrimental to your physical health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. That is not a statistic to take lightly.
2. A Wider Social Circle, Presents More Opportunities
The more close friendships you build, the more comprehensive your circle of support. Even at the most selfish level, the more people you know, the more resources are within easy reach. Just be sure to return the favor!
Maybe you need help moving, and you know two strong people with a Saturday afternoon off. Or you need a partner for ballroom dance lessons and know just the person who may be interested. Platonic friends are new opportunities. They can become a vast resource network.
3. Improve Your Romantic Relationships With Platonic Ones
By learning healthy relationship skills outside of romance, you gain experience for romantic ones. The unconditional love, compassion, and patience required in long term friendships are just as applicable (if not more) with a romantic partner.
Learn to work through problems, to feel compassion, and to support someone in times of need. Bring these essential skills with you into your romantic relationships. This can be especially important because you are practicing with the gender of attraction. When sex isn’t a part of the equation, it makes practicing easier.
4. Good Conversation and Improve Communication Skills
Communication skills are about healthy emotional intelligence. Which is to say, learning to recognize your own emotions helps you also recognize them in others. With practice, you can learn to control your feelings and to manage the emotions of those around you. If you can do these two steps, you have profound emotional intelligence.
How do you build these emotional and communication skills? You build friendships and practice in this small circle. Don’t be afraid to have tough conversations, and learn to overcome challenging times in your friendships. These are just practice sessions that can be applied well beyond your platonic friendships.
5. Create A Support Network For Times of Hardship
When you have a tough day at work, need help moving a heavy piece of furniture, or need a drive to the emergency room – who can you call? Platonic friendships mean you have a circle of friends deeply concerned with your wellbeing. They will drop what they are doing to show their support. Whether that means a shoulder to cry on or urgent care.
6. A Source of Inspiration
Friends can give you that little push you need to overcome your fears and try something new. By looking up to those you platonically love, you might get a little inspiration for your next move.
As said by Thomas J. Watson, an American businessman and CEO of IBM until 1956, “Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.” Platonic friends should be a never-ending resource of inspiration.
7. Live Longer (Yes, Really)
Over ten years, scientists assessed the social support network of 90,000 postmenopausal women. They determined that the better the support network, the lower the risk of mortality. They took particular note of cardiovascular disease and mortality rates and controlled for race, income, and education levels.
Again and again, researchers have applied this same theory to numerous demographics, from many regions around the world. It’s by now virtually fact, that support networks boost longevity.
As it Turns Out, Friends without Benefits are More Beneficial
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
The benefits to your health and wellbeing are now firmly established in scientific research. Platonic friendship is a crucial way to build a social support network, which in turn improves your physical and mental health, which then contributes to a longer, happier life.
Although it may be tempting in certain friendships to shift into “friends with benefits,” you might want to weigh each option carefully. Friends with benefits is likely a short term solution with only short term benefits. A deep platonic friendship has long term benefits for long term gains. Who doesn’t want better health outcomes and a longer lifespan?
Platonic Friendship: Platonic Relationship Definition/Meaning/Intimacy/Romance & Platonic Dating App/Sites/Websites
Platonic Friendships and Platonic Relationships are on the rise these days, and gaining popularity as another distinct type of Dating Relationship. So what exactly is Platonic Dating, what are its benefits and advantages, and how do you make a Platonic Relationship work?
We share everything you need to know about a Platonic Relationship, from Platonic Friendship Meaning, Platonic Friendship Definition, Platonic Romance, to what Platonic Intimacy entails.
Also find out about the Best Platonic Friend App, Platonic Dating Sites and Platonic Dating Websites.
Everything About Platonic Friendship, Platonic Relationship, Platonic Dating, Platonic Intimacy & Platonic Romance
It’s very rare to find people who think along the same frequency as us. That’s why we should really treasure such platonic friends when we find them.
A. What is a Platonic Friendship
The Perennial Question in Platonic Dating always is: Can a guy and a lady remain platonic friends in the long term?
Let us take a look at the circumstances which make a Platonic Relationship and Platonic Intimacy successful.
And also, let’s understand what people involved in Platonic Dating have to deal with … Enjoy!
(a) You are “that couple” that’s not a couple
(b) You don’t even remember when you started being friends
(c) You can’t imagine having sex with them
(d) They give good, honest advice
(e) They’re always there for you
(f) You don’t want to cock-block your friend
(g) You have memorized a list of reasons as to why you can’t date each other
(h) One or both of you are happily in a romantic relationship with someone else
(i) You have to appease your partners’ jealousy sometimes
(j) You promised to grow old together – in more than one way
Read More to understand more deeply on the meaning and definition of a Platonic Relationship:-
1. Platonic Relationship: Is Platonic Relationship Ever Possible or Merely a Myth
2. What is a Platonic Relationship: Demystifying the Mechanics, Meaning & Definition of Platonic Dating
3. What is a Platonic Relationship: Top 6 Characteristics and the Meaning & Definition of a Platonic Relationship
4. Platonic Relationship Definition: Top 5 Ways to Tell the Difference for Platonic Dating Hugs vs Serious Dating Hugs
5. Platonic Relationship Meaning: The Top 10 Bare Truths Revealed About What is Platonic Dating
6. Platonic Romance: Top 3 Ways to Better Understand the Meaning of Platonic Dating & Platonic Relationship
7. Define Platonic Friendship: Top 10 Best Platonic Dating Tips to Maintain a Successful Platonic Relationship
B. Platonic Friendship Advice, Tips & Rules
1. Platonic Dating: 5 Exclusive Tips to Know if You Are In a Platonic Relationship
2. Platonic Intimacy: Platonic Relationship Meaning & How You Can Improve Your Platonic Relationship
4. Platonic Dating: 5 Most Important Rules for Maintaining a Platonic Relationship
5. Platonic Dating: How to Date a Guy Platonically in a Platonic Relationship
6. What Does Platonic Friends Mean: Top 10 Rules to Remain in a Platonic Relationship
7. Define Platonic Relationship: Top 10 Best Dating Advice & Tips for Getting Over Your Romantic Crush Quickly & Easily
8. Platonic Friendship Meaning: Top 7 Proven Advice for Hardships Faced By the Platonic Girl Friend in a Platonic Relationship
9. Platonic Friendship Definition: How to Handle a Crush On Your Platonic Friend in a Platonic Relationship
10. What’s A Platonic Relationship: How to Prevent Guys from Misunderstanding You in a Platonic Friendship
C. Platonic Dating Sites & Platonic Friendship App
Platonic Friendship Websites
1. Platonic Relationship: Here’s the Top 6 Platonic Dating Sites & Platonic Friend App to Find Your Ideal Platonic Relationship
D. How to Identify a Platonic Friend in Platonic Dating
Can A Platonic Relationship Work
1. You finish each other’s sentences
2. You follow them closely on social media
3. You care about what they think
4. You want to know all about them
5. You admire them. A lot.
6. You don’t want an intimate relationship with them
E. How to Maintain a Platonic Friendship
Men generally find it difficult to remain platonic friends with a Woman.
This is because it’s embedded in his DNA and genetics, to seek out a mate.
So, to successfully maintain a platonic romance, you both need to adhere to these 10 Golden Rules of Platonic Dating:-
1. Remember why you don’t want to go there
2. Make a firm decision
3. No skin contact. Avoid excessive physical contact
4. Don’t set yourselves up to fail
5. Remove the triggers. Avoid factors or situations which might make you cave
6. Don’t flirt, even as a joke
7. Rely on your buddies
8. Occupy your time with someone else
9. Don’t bring up anything sensual. Ever.
10. Fake it till you make it
You’re in for a successful and most fulfilling time together as Platonic partners, if you both can stick strictly to these boundaries.
Read the full content at “What is Platonic Intimacy: Top 10 Platonic Dating Advice for a Successful Platonic Relationship & Platonic Friendship“.
Are Platonic Relationships Healthy
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